I attended two of Fran Grace's Meditation 101 classes. In each class, we practiced a different form of meditation, and I walked away from both experiences with a different influence. I have postponed my reflections on this experience purposely, as my opinion of the subject has been in transition.
During my first class, we practiced a Hindu form of deep and total relaxation. In order to achieve such relaxation, we were taught to tighten individual muscles as much as possible and then completely relax them, in succession, to release all tension in each area. While i found the process to be extremely calming, I failed to find the aftermath to me worth it. I was able to find a completely relaxed state, in mind and body; when my mind came back to the real world, however, I was overwhelmed to the point of sickness by all the issues i had to deal with. By placing my troubles out of mind momentarily, I forced myself to endure their sudden and entire return. All my worries- academically, socially, in my family- were so built up, that I was made ill when they were fully realized.
After the exercise, we sat in a circle and discussed some reasoning for turning to meditation and its effects. One girl disclosed that she turned to meditation as a last resort. Apparently she had been admitted to the hospital the previous night, because she was unable to breathe. After running several tests, her problem was attributed to stress and anxiety. She told Fran however that she felt that even meditation had failed in helping her to take a deep breathe. Fran then used the situation as a metaphor for life: it had taken a long time to build up enough stress to effect the girl's breathing, and that it would take time to break it back down; to place more emphasis on the process rather than the goal.
I was initially convinced that, while i was interested and respect the practice, it was not effective for me at this point in my life. I wanted to get to a point where i was nearly relaxed on my own, and only needed to meditate to enhance that relaxation. I felt as though i had too much going on to be able to separate myself from all of it like that. After consulting with one of my peers who attends Fran's class weekly, however, I was convinced to try one more time, as part of a P.R.I.D.E. activity.
I returned the following day for another form of group meditation which was preceded by a conversation regarding each participant's religion of choice, and how it has reflected our lives. After reflecting upon the paths we have all chosen, we embarked on a Christian meditation based upon a wish for forgiveness and acceptance. We were asked to reflect on ourselves, and make a wish that all of our personal sufferings and worries would subside. from that point of forgiveness, we were asked to focus first on someone we loved, then on someone who had hurt us, then someone we had hurt, moving out of our circle to focus on Redlands as a whole, then California, the country, the world, the universe, and to make the same wish for each of them. At the point at which i was asked to focus on the world, I found myself in uncontrollable tears when i considered how
gigantic that wish to end suffering and worry was, how horrible of a world we have created for some people.
This session was followed by nearly an hour of conversation about everything from homophobia to carousels. Fran used a very comprehensive analogy to explain the world around me, and how people become so wrapped up and stressed out. She explained that a the horses on a carousel are moved by the electricity in the middle, but they can only move up in down, in the defined circle. If people are analogous with the horses, we would be calm and accept the given path that we are taken in; we choose, however, to try to be in multiple places at once, wanting numerous different things, which just is not possible- there by destroying the simplicity and defying the natural drive of the cycle.
Fran's analogies helped me to better understand, not only the purpose, but the necessity of meditation in my life at this point. I became so overwhelmed after my first experience because I am trying to do too much at onetime- trying to pull away from my carousel- and ignoring that will not send me into the process of fixing them. kind of like how addicts are told that admitting they have a problem is the first step to recovery. I have learned to focus on the positives in my life, to stop trying to fix everything, to prioritize, to not overwhelm myself. I think that this was a very good skill for me to learn before I have had to deal with overly extreme stresses and while i have time to condition the exercises into practice before next semester.
During my first class, we practiced a Hindu form of deep and total relaxation. In order to achieve such relaxation, we were taught to tighten individual muscles as much as possible and then completely relax them, in succession, to release all tension in each area. While i found the process to be extremely calming, I failed to find the aftermath to me worth it. I was able to find a completely relaxed state, in mind and body; when my mind came back to the real world, however, I was overwhelmed to the point of sickness by all the issues i had to deal with. By placing my troubles out of mind momentarily, I forced myself to endure their sudden and entire return. All my worries- academically, socially, in my family- were so built up, that I was made ill when they were fully realized.
After the exercise, we sat in a circle and discussed some reasoning for turning to meditation and its effects. One girl disclosed that she turned to meditation as a last resort. Apparently she had been admitted to the hospital the previous night, because she was unable to breathe. After running several tests, her problem was attributed to stress and anxiety. She told Fran however that she felt that even meditation had failed in helping her to take a deep breathe. Fran then used the situation as a metaphor for life: it had taken a long time to build up enough stress to effect the girl's breathing, and that it would take time to break it back down; to place more emphasis on the process rather than the goal.
I was initially convinced that, while i was interested and respect the practice, it was not effective for me at this point in my life. I wanted to get to a point where i was nearly relaxed on my own, and only needed to meditate to enhance that relaxation. I felt as though i had too much going on to be able to separate myself from all of it like that. After consulting with one of my peers who attends Fran's class weekly, however, I was convinced to try one more time, as part of a P.R.I.D.E. activity.
I returned the following day for another form of group meditation which was preceded by a conversation regarding each participant's religion of choice, and how it has reflected our lives. After reflecting upon the paths we have all chosen, we embarked on a Christian meditation based upon a wish for forgiveness and acceptance. We were asked to reflect on ourselves, and make a wish that all of our personal sufferings and worries would subside. from that point of forgiveness, we were asked to focus first on someone we loved, then on someone who had hurt us, then someone we had hurt, moving out of our circle to focus on Redlands as a whole, then California, the country, the world, the universe, and to make the same wish for each of them. At the point at which i was asked to focus on the world, I found myself in uncontrollable tears when i considered how
gigantic that wish to end suffering and worry was, how horrible of a world we have created for some people.This session was followed by nearly an hour of conversation about everything from homophobia to carousels. Fran used a very comprehensive analogy to explain the world around me, and how people become so wrapped up and stressed out. She explained that a the horses on a carousel are moved by the electricity in the middle, but they can only move up in down, in the defined circle. If people are analogous with the horses, we would be calm and accept the given path that we are taken in; we choose, however, to try to be in multiple places at once, wanting numerous different things, which just is not possible- there by destroying the simplicity and defying the natural drive of the cycle.
Fran's analogies helped me to better understand, not only the purpose, but the necessity of meditation in my life at this point. I became so overwhelmed after my first experience because I am trying to do too much at onetime- trying to pull away from my carousel- and ignoring that will not send me into the process of fixing them. kind of like how addicts are told that admitting they have a problem is the first step to recovery. I have learned to focus on the positives in my life, to stop trying to fix everything, to prioritize, to not overwhelm myself. I think that this was a very good skill for me to learn before I have had to deal with overly extreme stresses and while i have time to condition the exercises into practice before next semester.
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